Mind Musings
Wow, It’s been a long time since I’ve posted…or even signed in to this blog. For those of you who’ve been “missing” me, you can always find me at: http://cynthialottvogel.blogspot.com . I’ve been doing really pretty well…mentally anyway…except I always have this…like emptiness and disconnected feeling when things are going well…Kind of like I”m missing something…or Like “since I’m not miserable, I must have lost touch with myself.”
I’ve been still online a lot. Getting used to an empty nest. My daughter has moved out and is finally happy and doing really well. Thank You, Lord! Now I can die in peace. LOL. No, seriously, I’d told God to please let me live until I could see her settled and okay. It would be nice to make her wedding though…so that will maybe be my new request, because I know if I missed that, SHE would be really missing me that day, and that would be just sad. She’s found and is living with a man 13 years older than her who is a WONDERFUL man…and who has been SO good for her. This is the first time in her whole life that I’ve seen her really content and happy and not hating herself and the world. And that does a mom’s heart good. We’ve always been very very close and it really pained me that I could not fill in all the gaps in her life. But she ‘s found some one who is doing a great job of filling many, and teaching her how to fill many of the others herself. NOW to have her find the Lord and I would be ecstatic.
Physically; well, I continue to decompose before I’m in the grave : ( ugh…what a metaphor. : ) My arms now are falling apart. Both shoulders and an elbow are ready for and needing to be replaced. (which makes climbing the monkey bars a real challenge!!) 
My first shoulder surgery had been scheduled for next Tuesday but at the “last minute” I canceled it. It has a major and long recovery period during which time I will be very disabled and will need lots of help. I am not not going to find any of that help in my household. And things are kind of topsy turvy here at the moment because my husband has been extremely depressed and suicidal…(yeah, it’s HIS turn now) and I can’t dump that burden on him as well. I’ve decided to opt for an arthroscopic surgery of my elbow first, because really that is what hurts the worst. And then I will be in a much better spot later on to have the shoulder done because I’ll have at least some use of that arm to rely on during recovery from the shoulder.
Enough of all that. Because the rest of the story is all something like “pain yada yada pain yada yada….” and that just gets like “will you SHUT UP ALREADY about your freakin pain!!” (Wow, that last sentence sounded like I was about 15. Actually during a first time phone conversation recently with an internet friend he told me I sound about 15 years old. I didn’t know whether to smack him or thank him. haha. Not so sure that it was a compliment. I think he was just referring to my young sounding voice….but still fifteen??? Thank God I’m NOT fifteen …would NOT want to have to relive those first 30 years for NOTHIN’. And then the last five haven’t been so hot either…..
So some rather exciting things have happened lately.
I wrote a letter in response to an appeal for letters from readers of Assist News Service articles (an email subscription I get of a news service for Christians that is distributed world wide I believe) telling of how the reader uses their articles. So I wrote it…and dang it, if my big ol’ mug wasn’t published first thing in the article and practically my whole letter quoted. And then a few days later, a package arrived from the wife of the newsreporter who wrote the article and she wrote me a lovely note along with the gift….so one thing led to anther and I was asked to write my “story” for an ANS article! And they allotted me 2500 words! That’s a LARGE article! I’m pretty psyched about the opportunity… When it comes out I will give the link to the article here so you can read it if you like.
Well, that’s enough of a blow by blow for now.
I’ll try to make it back before another multiple of months passes.
Blessings.
